I need to be completely honest and say that autumn is not my favourite season…not by a long way.
Every year I resolve to enjoy this season of change, loss and winding down. I am getting better at it but if I am ever ill it is during these months coming up to Christmas.
I and my body love to be hot, even too hot is absolutely fine. All those years ago I became accustomed to the ever-present heat of the Zimbabwean Lowfeld. My body adapted and our tiny daughter seemed to never be bothered by temperatures in the 30s (centigrade), she played happily with sweat pouring off her face!
I love the freedom that the summer brings. No more huddling under shawls and thick coats.
This year has felt different. Granted we are being blessed by very mild weather here in the UK, but that said I am able to take time and really focus on the colours that autumn sweeps in. They are some of my favourite; yellow, burnt orange, red..so many warm hues. Nature, it seems is gently reminding us that in spite of winter being close there are warmer days in the future. Spring and summer will return.
In the past the arrival of this waning of the year heralded vague feelings of sadness, of loss and grief. Not too long ago the life in me seemed to simply breathe itself away leaving a husk.
I, like many others, deal with being depressed. There are no reasons in this time of my life for the darkness that descends. It comes from nowhere, or so it seems, and leaves me lying helpless.
It leaves as promptly as it came and I struggle to recall why and how I really was when the days were beyond my reach. I am supported hugely by my husband. He has never urged me to stop being silly etc. etc. He simply is…he sits, he hears me and that is enough.
Happily, for me the dark times are rare and I kind of understand where they come from which makes it easier to breathe deeply and decide that enough is enough.
Autumn then is a time for preparing to rest. Long ago we would store all the food we could, we would sleep many hours and simply use the few hours of daylight to do what was really necessary. Nowadays life goes on as normal and we rise in the dark and return home in the dark. Those of us who work in a traditional job rarely spend any time in the daylight.
I have learnt to change my timetable to fit more easily with the rising and setting of the sun. I am fortunate. I am self-employed and during autumn and winter rise a little later and accept that I will do less. My yoga practice tends to be softer and I enjoy not urging myself too much to do more. It has taken me all these years to get to this place of acceptance and understanding. My body and my mind are really glad that I am finally listening in to the inner dialogue. Slow down, rest and sleep easily.
Autumn is here. It is time to wind down and then here and there are glimpses of luscious life as I discovered when I found these beautiful nasturtiums literally winding themselves through the branches of a rose bush which also still blooms happily.
My love and blessings to all who stop by and read my words, thank you. Namaste.